I'll Stand By You
by Obi the Kid
Summary: 1 year Pre-TPM. Non-Slash. This is a sequel to "Everybody Hurts" and "His Place At My Side." It assumes knowledge of these 2 fics. Obi helps Qui recover from the events of a failed mission.


TITLE: I'll Stand By You  
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)  
RATING: PG  
SUMMARY: 1 year Pre-TPM, Obi is 24. Non-Slash. This is a sequel to "Everybody Hurts" and "His Place At My Side." It assumes knowledge of these 2 fics. Obi helps Qui recover from the events of a failed mission.   
ARCHIVE: Please ask me first.  
FEEDBACK: Always appreciated.  
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/  
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.  
===============  
  
I'll Stand By You  
--lyrics and music by Chrissy Hynde (The Pretenders)  
  
Oh, Why you look so sad?  
The tears are in your eyes  
Come on and come to me now  
But don't be ashamed to cry  
Let me see you through  
Cause I've seen the dark side too.  
  
When the night falls on you  
You don't know what to do  
Nothing you confess  
could make me love you less  
  
I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you  
Won't let nobody hurt you  
I'll stand by you  
  
So, If you're mad, get mad  
Don't hold it all inside  
Come on and talk to me now  
But hey, what you've got to hide  
I get angry too  
But I'm a lot like you  
  
When you're standing at the crossroads  
Don't know which path to choose  
Let me come along  
Cause even if you're wrong...  
  
I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you  
Won't let nobody hurt you  
I'll stand by you  
  
Take me in into your darkest hour  
And I'll never desert you  
I'll stand by you  
  
And when,  
When the night falls on you baby  
You're feeling all alone  
Walking on your own  
  
I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you  
Won't let nobody hurt you  
I'll stand by you  
-------------------  
** Inner Thoughts**  
// Communication through the Jedi bond//  
  
================  
I'll Stand By You  
================  
  
"Master Windu, with all due respect, I wish to take my Master away from Courascant for a while. He needs to clear and refocus his mind."  
  
"Has he told you anything about what happened on Relta Dar?"  
  
Obi-Wan Kenobi dropped his gaze from that of the Council members. "No, he hasn't. He's spoken very little to me since he returned home. I can feel his pain but he will not allow me access to the images and memories of that mission. He needs time. I know he trusts me, and he has begun to reach out to me, but there is much healing to be done. I request that Master Qui-Gon and myself be granted a leave of absence and be permitted to take that leave off planet."  
  
The dark-skinned Master sighed. In the week since Qui-Gon had returned from the solo mission to Relta Dar, the once proud man, was but a shell of his former self. Something had happened on that planet. Something that Qui-Gon was unwilling or unable to talk about. The only person who he seemed to respond to was Kenobi, his 24-year-old apprentice. All others were greeted with haunted stares and eerie silence. Mace wanted to help his old friend, but was confused as to how to proceed.   
  
**Perhaps Kenobi is right. Time away, without the pressure of others around him. If anyone can get through to him, that boy can.**  
  
Windu placed a hand on the students' shoulder. "I will arrange for the two of you to go on leave. Let's give him a couple weeks and see how he is coming along. Don't push him to hard, but you do know that the best thing for him, is if he opens up and talks about what happened."  
  
"Yes, Master. Is there a planet that you would recommend, one that is peaceful and will offer few interruptions?"   
  
Looking into the blue/green eyes of Jinn's padawan, Mace saw a determination there that was so like that of Jinn himself. This one was so much like his Master in so many ways. "There is a planet that is a day's travel from here, it's called Trilos. If there's a more serene and relaxed planet in the galaxy, I have yet to find it. When do you wish to leave?"  
  
Obi-Wan stood tall, straightening his tunic. "As soon as possible, tomorrow would be ideal."  
  
"Very well, I will see to it that you have what you need. A private shuttle will be prepared. I only ask one thing of you."  
  
"And what is that Master?"  
  
"That you look after him, and don't let him give up."  
  
A small smile crossed the younger Jedi's tired face. "I will do that Master Windu. I promise you that I will not fail him. I will do everything in my power to see him through this."  
  
"I can ask nothing more, thank you Obi-Wan." With that, the older Knight took his leave, allowing the apprentice to return to his Master's side."  
==============  
Obi-Wan entered the apartment he shared with Qui-Gon, he found his teacher sitting quietly on the couch, starring blankly at the holo-vid screen.   
  
"Master, you must pack, we are going away. I have asked the Council for a leave of absence. Tomorrow we are off to Trilos. Master Windu tells me it is very beautiful."  
  
Without taking his eyes from the color-filled screen in front of him, Qui-Gon spoke quietly. "No. I will stay here."  
  
Obi-Wan turned to face the other man. "Master, you need time away. It will be good for you. I will pack for you if you like."  
  
This time, when Qui-Gon responded, it was more forceful...an order from Master to apprentice. "No Obi-Wan. No need to leave. I am fine."  
  
Knowing that this confrontation was going to happen eventually, Obi-Wan was ready for it. "We are leaving tomorrow. I will pack for both of us. You will not win this battle Master. I have the Council on my side. If necessary, I will use the Force to aid me in getting you on that ship."  
  
"I am your Master Obi-Wan. It is your duty to obey my commands. We are NOT GOING!!" Qui-Gon had gotten up from the couch and confronted his student. They stood, each starring angrily at the other, until finally Qui-Gon realized what he was doing. "I'm sorry, that was not needed...I do not wish to go."  
  
"I know you don't want to, but you need to deal with this Master. I don't know what else to do for you. This vacation will be good for both of us. All I want is to help you Master. You don't know how much this pains me to see you hurting inside. I can help you, please don't push me away."  
  
The slumped shoulders of the older man only began to show the exhaustion that he felt. This past week at home had been one of the worst of Qui-Gon's life. While Obi-Wan was forcing him to eat, he could not help him sleep through the night. Nightmares haunted the disturbed mind of the Jedi Master; sleep was not an option. Obi-Wan was hopeful that this time away would enable the healing process to begin. Taking Qui-Gon by the arm, the apprentice led him back to the couch, and for a few moments, he sat there, hoping his presence alone would be enough.  
  
Qui-Gon closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the cushions. "So tired. Just need rest."  
  
Patting the knee of his elder, Kenobi was at a loss. Yet he forced himself to say something...anything.  
  
"I know Master. Tomorrow will be better. You rest here, and I will prepare what we will need to take with us. You call me if you need me okay?"  
  
"Thank you Obi-Wan."  
================  
The following day, the Jedi departed for Trilos. Neither said much during the flight. Obi-Wan had been so concerned about his Master that in the last few days he had failed to take care of himself. Before they left Courscant, Healer Terran had pulled the young man aside and lectured him on that very thing. Obi-Wan gave his word that he would see to his owns needs as well as those of Qui-Gon.  
  
The ship touched down on the planet. Lush green and blue grasses covered the hills as far as one could see. There was a large lake close to the area they had landed. "This is the perfect spot Master. There is such a peaceful feeling here, and we've only been here for a short time."  
  
Qui-Gon was oblivious to anything around him. "It's nice."  
  
"Come on Master, let's see what's around here. It's so stuffy in here, fresh air will do us both good."  
  
Reluctantly, the older man followed the younger out of the ship and they set out on a walk around the shore of the crystal blue lake. Every so often, Qui-Gon would stop and look into the distance. There was nothing there that Obi-Wan could see, and he assumed that the Master was reflecting back to the mission on Relta Dar. "Master? Do you wish to talk about anything?"  
  
Qui-Gon only shook his head, then turned to continue his walk.  
===============  
A week passed, and there was little noticeable progress being made. Obi-Wan felt more separated from his friend than ever before. Qui-Gon was withdrawing from everything, including the one person closest to him.  
  
Making a quick call home to speak with Healer Terran, Obi-Wan returned to find his Master gone. Frantically, he searched the general area where he had left him. Nothing. As a sudden silence fell over that part of the planet, Obi-Wan heard something. He searched in the direction of the noise. A cry came through the bond he shared with Qui-Gon. It was a heart-wrenching plea for help.  
  
//Obi-Wan? Padawan...please...//  
  
The apprentice broke into a run, following the Force signature of his fellow Knight. //I am here Master, hang on...//  
  
//Padawan...//  
  
When Obi-Wan finally found him, Qui-Gon was sitting by the hidden part of the lake, his knees drawn to his chest. It was a familiar scene for the young Jedi. This was how he had found Qui-Gon when the Master had returned from the Relta Dar mission. Obi-Wan had a feeling that if there was ever going to be a break through, this would be it. He needed to force Qui-Gon to talk this out, to begin to move on with his life.   
  
Sitting directly in front of the other man, Obi-Wan spoke as confidently as he could. "Master? I want you to tell me what happened on Relta Dar. Please. This is killing you inside. You cannot live with this haunting you. Please Master. I will not judge anything you say, nor will I repeat it to anyone. You can trust me Master. You can trust me..."  
  
By now, Obi-Wan had taken both of Qui-Gon's hands in his own and was holding them in a death grip. The exhausted Master made no attempt to move. There was comfort in the contact that he did not want to lose. Yet he could not bring himself to make eye contact with his comforter.  
  
Obi-Wan's pleadings continued. He repeated the same words over and over. "You can trust me Master...please trust me...I can help you."  
  
Qui-Gon raised his head, his weary eyes, met those of the young man in front of him. Slowly he loosened one of his hands from Obi-Wan's grasp, and reached up to brush a silent tear from his padawans cheek. "I know Obi-Wan...I can trust you...but...I...I'm...so scared...I've never been this scared...in all my life. Help me?"  
  
Several more tears followed the first. Obi-Wan dropped his head in shame. He was supposed to be comforting his Master, not crying like a child in front of him. Qui-Gon picked up on that thought and struggled to help the boy while the boy was attempting to help him.  
  
"Okay to cry my Obi-Wan...but I need your help...I can't do this alone...thought I could. I can't...I'm scared Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon reached for the padawans other hand once more, and held it tightly. "Help me padawan. Please."  
  
"I am here Master, we can talk now. Will you open your thoughts to me?"  
  
Giving an unsure nod, Qui-Gon picked himself up off the ground. "I don't know if I can do that. I would have to relive all that happened. You will have to witness it. I would not wish such pain on you. It hurts so much. But, I want to talk."  
  
"Let's take a walk. Trilos has a beautiful ocean, we can walk there, it's not to far. Come Master." Placing an arm around his friend, Obi-Wan led them towards what he hoped would finally be the beginning of the healing process.  
==============  
They sat together in silence. Qui-Gon leaned against a large rock that sat on the edges of where the ocean shore met the forest. Not to far away, Obi-Wan was constructing a small fire. The planet's twin suns hung low in the sky. Nightfall was close at hand.   
  
As Obi-Wan continued to tend the fire, Qui-Gon starred off into the distance...he seemed so lost. "I failed on this mission...I tried to protect them...I made the wrong decision and now...now I must live with this for the rest of my life."  
  
The younger Knight faced his mentor, through the flames he could see several stray tears caressing the man's cheek. "Tell me what happened Master." Obi-Wan moved from the fire and sat on the rock, above where Qui-Gon remained seated on the sandy grass.  
  
There was silence for a time, before the shaky voice continued. "It's my fault. So many deaths...I am responsible. I...I can't ever forget."  
  
Obi-Wan slowly began to get an idea of what happened on Relta Dar. He pushed Qui-Gon further. "These deaths were your fault, why Master? Who was killed? How many were killed?"  
  
"Hundreds...so many deaths. All children...I am responsible." It was obvious that the details of how the children were killed would not be spoken of, and that is what haunted the Jedi more than anything. "He died in my arms...so young."  
  
"Who Master?"  
  
"His name was Serras...he held onto me...kept saying that the Jedi would save them...he...he asked me to leave him and save his sister. I found her not to far away...she was dead. He couldn't stop crying. So...I...I just held him...until...he was silent." Qui-Gon closed his eyes as the images came flooding back.  
  
Quietly, Obi-Wan slid off the rock to sit shoulder to shoulder with his teacher. The intense feelings of despair and fear coming from their bond made the student shudder slightly. He was getting pieces of images of the slaughter that took place on Relta Dar. It disturbed the apprentice; yet, he would not allow his own fears to control him. Nothing could pry him from where he belonged...his place at Qui-Gon's side. An unsteady hand reached out and found his. Obi-Wan returned the gesture.  
  
"It's okay Master. I will not leave you. Now, tell me...why were these deaths your fault? What did you do that caused this?"  
  
Qui-Gon held tight to his padawans hand. "I...I trusted someone...against my own instincts...but...I didn't know what else to do. He turned on me and on the people there. Why Obi-Wan? Why did I trust him? I had no right!"  
  
By now, Qui-Gon had turned to face his friend, hoping...pleading that the young man had all the answers and could make the viscous images vanish forever. In reality, Qui-Gon knew that was not possible. Not even his devoted padawan could make that happen.   
  
"No Master, I don't have all the answers, and I can't make this go away, but I can help you. Never in my life have you let me down...it's my chance to return the favor. We will stay here as long as we need to. There is no rush. Your well being is all that matters to me right now."  
  
Qui-Gon shook his head. "I trusted this man...and he...why did I trust him? I don't know. Serras' death was so very painful. There was this song he kept singing until his last breath...said his mom always sang it to he and his sister when they were scared. He said...'Jedi never get scared do they?' Force yes, we get scared. What do I do now Obi-Wan? Where do I go from here? I don't know how to move beyond this. Promise me you won't leave me, please...I need you here...at my side."  
  
Taken aback, Obi-Wan had never heard such a cry for help from his Master. His heart ached for his friend. "I have some kind of idea what you went through Master...and I promise you with all that I am...that I will not leave you if you need me. I owe everything to you Master. Never would I turn my back on you."  
  
"My padawan." Qui-Gon smiled slightly. "Please help me forget. I just want to forget."   
  
As the Knight's emotions took control once more, he found himself being pulled into a comforting embrace. Quiet sobs were muffled against Obi-Wan's tunic. He held on to Qui-Gon as tightly as he could, physically allowing the distraught man to know that he was not alone. "I'm here Master...I'm here. I won't let you go."  
  
"I just need time right? This will all go away in time." As Qui-Gon began rambling, Obi-Wan could only stay as he was, holding his mentor close to him until the worst was over. This role as the comforter was still new to him...and he feared upsetting his Master more if he said the wrong thing.  
  
//No padawan, as long as you are here, no words are necessary. Just...sit with me.//  
  
//Open your mind to me Master. I can see only small parts of what happened. Release your fears...your anger...you've come so far already.//  
  
Over the next few hours, as darkness enveloped the planet, Qui-Gon did indeed open his mind further to allow his apprentice in. Once Obi-Wan recovered from the initial shock of what he was seeing, he was able to calm himself and send tendrils of love and understanding through the bond they shared. As the Master expected, there was no recrimination for the actions he took on Relta Dar. There was nothing but what he had come to know from the younger man. At times during the night, when a particularly painful memory hit, Qui-Gon would sink further into his friends' embrace...and cry. Obi-Wan, as promised, stayed with him, refusing to let go. He would share his Masters' secrets with no one. Faithfully, he would stand by this man who was more a father to him than anyone he had ever known.   
  
For 11 years he had stood with Qui-Gon Jinn, through every situation imaginable. This was a new test for them; perhaps it was the will of the Force that this happened. Perhaps it was meant to bring Master and padawan closer together. The Force was telling them to treasure what they had found with the other.   
  
When Obi-Wan felt Qui-Gon slipping into sleep, he placed a hand on his forehead and lulled him into the unconscious world with soft, comforting words.   
  
//So tired...//  
  
//Rest Master, I won't leave you...you are safe here.//  
  
//My padawan...//  
  
//Shhhh...all will be well soon. Sleep my Master.//  
  
Qui-Gon slept peacefully for the first time in several weeks. He was beginning the healing process. The first step was release...to speak of what happened and to open his thoughts so someone he trusted. Obi-Wan had provided that outlet. The next days and weeks would bring about more healing.   
  
As Obi-Wan sat quietly, holding his sleeping Master, he knew that as much as Qui-Gon wanted to forget, at the same time, he needed to remember. He needed to be sure that those hundreds of children did not die in vain. They would live on in the memory of the one who had fought to save them.   
  
"You will remember them Master. You compassion for all living beings is what drives you. That is why this has touched and hurt you so deeply. This is not your fault. You were alone on a foreign planet, with no others to seek assistance from. You did the only thing you could do. Perhaps it's best that you were alone, so that others would not have to suffer as you have. I would have stood by your decision Master. Yes, we disagree from time to time, but I will always follow you, if for no other reason, then to protect you." The apprentice paused for a moment to adjust his position when Qui-Gon stirred briefly.   
  
"I have you Master. Nothing can hurt you here. We need to enjoy the time we have. You've said that I will be ready for my trials in the next year or so. I wonder what my life will be like without you in it. I don't know if I am ready to take on the galaxy alone. I have much to learn Master. There is so much more for you to teach me. I don't believe I am ready for that part of my life. How long have I dreamed of becoming a Jedi Knight? It's all I ever wanted. But now, it scares me."  
  
Qui-Gon stirred again, but did not open his eyes. He reached for the bond. //I will be with you always, Obi-Wan. Because we no longer work and live together, does not mean that I stop caring about you. You will always be my padawan. You will always be my son. And yes, I will remember the children, but I want the pain to go away.//  
  
//You are supposed to be sleeping Master. How are you feeling?//  
  
//My mind and body are exhausted. But, I can feel myself calming...thank you Obi-Wan.//  
  
//Anytime you need me, I am here.//  
  
//Can we talk more? We should talk more. Not now, but from day to day. I will miss you Obi-Wan.//  
  
//Where am I going Master?//  
  
//When you become a Knight. You make me so proud. I will miss you.//  
  
Obi-Wan took a deep breath. //You said I will always be your padawan. We will find time to share, I will make it a point that we not allow ourselves to drift apart and to lose what we have. You are the one I will come to for advice...you are the one I will seek out whenever I need the company of a friendly face. But we should not dwell on that now. You must focus on your recovery. Our time on this planet must be well spent. Now, sleep before I put you out.//  
  
//Yes, padawan.// With that, the Jedi Master drifted off once more.   
  
==============  
  
Over the course of the next two weeks, Obi-Wan helped Qui-Gon through his days. Some were good, while others were filled with past demons. The student was never far from his teachers' side. When Qui-Gon stumbled, the apprentice was there to catch him. This difficult time had brought them closer together.   
  
"At least I have managed to regain control of my emotions." Qui-Gon stood at the water's edge, where the ocean's breaking waves washed up on the shore.  
  
"You once told me Master, that there is no fear in showing emotion, regardless of who we are...Jedi or not. Don't forget the lessons that you teach. You are a wise man...stubborn, but wise." Obi-Wan cracked a small smile.  
  
"Yes, and I see I have passed that stubbornness onto my apprentice."  
  
"I think you have."  
  
"My caring and devoted apprentice, who does not know how much I treasure his presence in my life."  
  
Obi-Wan blushed slightly and moved to stand a few inches in front of Qui-Gon, facing the ocean. "When do you wish to leave Master?"  
  
"Let's give it another week, I think we both need the rest. What would you say to exploring some of this planet tomorrow? We'll pack some things and head out to camp for a few days. The Council can wait, the next mission can wait. Our time together grows short. For once, we should be allowed to truly enjoy life. How about it?" Qui-Gon stepped forward and put an arm around his friend.  
  
"I would like that Master. The past few years have been running together. I miss spending quality time with you...time when we can sit and talk...just the two of us." Obi-Wan paused when he once again saw that faraway look in his Master's cobalt eyes. "Master? Are you okay?"  
  
Squeezing his students shoulder, Qui-Gon grinned at the young Knight. "I believe so padawan. For the first time in a long time, I am content. I have my life back, and I have you."  
  
"Thank you Master, I am glad you are well again. But...what will you tell the Council. They are sure to question about Relta Dar. Only you and I know the truth. Will you tell them?"  
  
Qui-Gon was silent for a moment...he sighed. "I don't know the answer to that padawan. They have every right no know, but it will only force me to relive that hell once more. I am not ready to do that again so soon. What will you do? They will come after you to determine what you know. The decision is up to you, to tell them or not to."  
  
"I have seen what this experience has done to you Master. I do not wish for you to suffer through those images again. I will stand by you, no matter what you decide. Yes, the Council should know, but I will not allow them to interrogate you, and probe your mind. In time, they will know the truth. I will stand with you, as you would with me." The apprentice did not meet his Master's gaze that was boring down on him.  
  
Feeling the need to break the tension, Qui-Gon playfully ruffled his padawans hair. As usual, Obi-Wan pulled away, laughing. "Master...aren't I a bit to old for that?"  
  
"Never, my Obi-Wan, no one is ever to old for a hair ruffle. Well, except maybe Master Yoda. Now, what do you say, we get some things packed and get ready for our little camping adventure tomorrow."  
  
"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan began back towards the ship, before being stopped by the familiar voice of his teacher.   
  
"Obi-Wan?"  
  
"Yes, Master?"  
  
"Come here please." Obi-Wan walked back a few steps before standing before the older Jedi. Qui-Gon placed a hand on the student's shoulders, and caught his eyes. "Thank you Obi-Wan. For all that you have done for me, I can never repay you for your friendship and your unwavering support. I know that you will stand by me. Your devotion is remarkable, as is your strength." Reaching forward, he pulled the smaller Jedi to him, and encircled him in a loving embrace. "Thank you my son...."  
  
"I love you to Master...but Master?" Muffled words came from Qui-Gon's chest.  
  
"Yes, Padawan?"  
  
"I can't breathe. Please let me go...oof...thank you. "  
  
Throwing an arm around his friend, Qui-Gon led the way back to the ship.   
  
"I think my face is blue."  
  
"Would you stop...your face is not blue."  
  
"Not now, but it was. Hey Master?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Last one to the ship is carrying the backpacks tomorrow..."  
  
Obi-Wan took off in a run...he stopped when he heard hysterical laughter coming from behind him. Looking back, he saw Qui-Gon walking slowly, holding his stomach.   
  
"Master, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing, Obi-Wan...absolutely nothing. Everything is just perfect."  
  
Arm in arm, the pair boarded the ship...the comforting sounds of laughter filling the air.   
  
END  
  
  



End file.
